One of the most valuable treasures under the sun is friendship. Friends lift each other up, communicate blind spots, and push each other to a brighter future. Because friendship is so important, there should be significant time and energy poured into strengthening the relationships within your inner circle.

If you have a friend that is unexpectedly pregnant, it can be difficult to navigate your conversations with them. You don’t know if you should say “Congratulations” or “I’m sorry.” Your friend who recently found out is pregnant needs one thing: peace. 

She’s likely feeling tremendous fear of the future, and perhaps feeling uncertainty about her pregnancy decision. The best thing you can do for her is to be near, be available, and be a listening ear.

Practical Tips for Helping a Friend with an Unplanned Pregnancy

Make Listening Your Highest Priority

A good listener is hard to come by in the 21st century. People are accustomed to sharing their opinions, but it is much more difficult to listen intently to what others are saying. As a friend of someone who has an unexpected pregnancy, make listening your highest priority. It is the greatest gift you can give to your friend during this time.

As your friend speaks, listen to their tone, their emotion, and their cadence. Ask them to explain more about things that are hurting them. Ask them to articulate their fears associated with their pregnancy. Instead of offering your advice, choose to offer compassion. 

If they ask for your opinion, share it! But your friend likely needs a shoulder to cry on rather than a mentor to guide them.

Be Steadfast in Your Support

If you know your friend is hurting, it can be a temptation to give them space, and speak to them after they handle their pregnancy decision. However, your friend needs someone they can trust near them.

If you are able, show up at her home. Bring her flowers. Sit down with her and simply be present. You want to share one message with your friend: you are not alone.

If she asks for your advice about her situation, offer your opinion, but never tell her what to do. Encourage her that she needs to make her own decision.

Offer to go to the Pregnancy Center Appointment with Her

If your friend recently found out she is pregnant, she should schedule an appointment at First Step Women’s Center. Pregnancy appointments can often be intimidating. To show you are a supportive friend, offer to go to her appointment with her. Having someone else present can bring peace to a fearful situation.

We can provide some answers

When you come with your friend to First Step Women’s Center, we can provide free and confidential pregnancy testing and an ultrasound to confirm her pregnancy. After gathering information about her pregnancy through the testing and ultrasounds, we can offer support and guidance on her best next steps.

Every person responds to difficult situations uniquely. As her friend, you’ll know the best way to help. Set up an appointment for you and your friend so we can talk confidentially about her pregnancy situation.